Who We Are

The Compassionate Friends is a unique organization that no one wants to join.  There are no membership fees – the price of membership is the death of a child, which makes our organization the most expensive membership in the world.

OUR MISSION STATEMENT ~ The Compassionate Friends, an international, non-denominational, non-profit, volunteer self-help organization, offering friendship, understanding, grief education and HOPE for the future to families who have experienced the death of a child at any age, from any cause.  

OUR PRIMARY PURPOSE ~ is to aid in the positive reconciliation of grief and foster the physical and emotional health of bereaved parents and their surviving children

OUR SECONDARY PURPOSE ~ is to provide information and education about the grief of bereaved parents and their surviving children.  The objective is to help those in their community, including family, friends, co-workers, employers and professionals to be supportive.

OUR HISTORY ~  The first chapter in Canada was established in Winnipeg in January 1977 by Joan and Bob Martin, following the death of their nine year old son, Benjamin, who died January 31, 1976, due to leukemia.  Rev. Simon, one of the original founders of The Compassionate Friends in England, visited Winnipeg in the summer of 1977.  The Southwestern Manitoba Chapter, was founded on May 13, 1987 by Karen Elves, who then enlisted Gwen Linski and Faye Neff to take over as the first Chapter Leaders of the newly founded chapter, TCF/SWMB.  Presently, in 2001, there are approximately 50 Canadian chapters with additional members from all across the country who act as contact people for TCF.  The Southwestern Manitoba Chapter has grown to be one of the most successful chapters due to the commitment from members, and the community support we have received.  

 **The Full Story, How TCF/SWMB Began **  

 HOW WE HELP ~ To recover from the death of a child takes a lifetime but the most crucial period of the grieving process is the first several years.  Unfortunately, support of friends and extended family is usually relatively short term when compared to the needs of a bereaved parent.  The Compassionate Friends provides the much needed “mutual support and understanding” for those bereaved parents and their surviving children.

Grief is not a condition that can be “treated.”  It is a healing process that takes a long time – much longer than most people would expect, and requires on-going support, understanding, and friendship from those who have “been there.”  The Compassionate Friends offers all of these, but most of all we offer HOPE – hope that recovery is possible.

The Compassionate Friends is an organization formed by and for parents whose children have died.  The Compassionate Friends is the ONLY organization that specifically deals with the death of a child at any age, from any cause, at any time.  Therefore, mental health workers, counselors, and those of the teaching and helping professions often refer their clients to The Compassionate Friends.

As awareness increases among professionals, and the general population, more and more parents are coming to TCF for help.  This increased need for services is overwhelming, and we in turn require an appropriate level of financial assistance to continue what only TCF can provide ~ the support, understanding, friendship and nurturing that cannot be found in a pill bottle, alcohol or hospital ward.  Our success helps alleviate the strain on the health care system.  

 CHAPTER SERVICES AND PROGRAMS ~ Our chapter provides monthly Sharing Meetings, “Telephone Friends”, and our Lifeline newsletter published quarterly.  We hold an annual Candlelight Memorial Service the second Wednesday of December. Our May "Need To" weekend is held in celebration of our founding date and features a unique Memorial Service and Balloon Release.  We maintain an office and Drop-In Center, with a Resource Library of over 450 books, audiotapes and videos, beneficial to parents and professionals alike.  We have brochures and contact packages that are distributed to those who will benefit from them and other concerned members of our community.  Our "Keepsake Album" Program is run in partnership with the Brandon Regional Health Authority, who provides a safe and caring environment and keepsake mementos for those who experience a neonatal loss.

Several years ago, a project was undertaken by our organization to renovate the children’s section of the Brandon Municipal Cemetery. It was renamed the Children’s Memorial Garden, cleaned up and beautified. With the support of the City of Brandon and community-minded business we are able to keep this area a warmer, more comforting place for parents to visit their children’s grave.

Our community Outreach Program provides public awareness and education to professionals in the form of: presentations about bereavement, grief and The Compassionate Friends; seminars; workshops; participation in fairs and forums; information displays and more as need dictates.  

We have held three successful conferences - “Wrap Myself in a Rainbow” in 1995, which was the first of it’s kind in Canada; and then in May 1997 in celebration of the 10th anniversary, an international conference entitled “Homecoming 97".  By their success these two events made clear the need to continue to provide further opportunities for this type of education and healing, so in May of 2003 “Northern Lights – Reflections of Healing”  a national grief conference again brought together bereaved families and professionals for education, sharing and support.

Sometimes it is easier to describe who we are by saying who we are not.  In our descriptions of our work and ourselves it is important to remind everyone that we are not counselors.  Sometimes people assume we take on that role and it bears repeating – we are not counselors.

So what do we do?  WE LISTEN.  We hear people out.  We let them tell their story, express their feelings without fear of judgment.  There seems to be a natural, God-given capacity that we all have – healing can take place naturally if we have a chance to express all the emotions we go through when our child dies.  It’s so simple that we never cease to be amazed at how well it works.  But then, the simple and natural are often miraculous!  If we need further help, the professionals are there to help us.  And if ever in our lives we are to need professional help, this has to be the time.  So TCF encourages members to take advantage of all the resources in the community, including individual counseling.  Most chapters invite therapists to their meetings so that members can benefit from their expertise and perhaps choose someone they think can help them. (Excerpt from the article "What Do We Do?" by Gwen Brown, TCF/Canada.)

“When a parent truly understand and acknowledges their loss, the healing process can begin.  We are here to journey alongside the newly bereaved until they can make their own choice to reinvest in life once again.  All this we do in memory of our children who were – still are – and ALWAYS will be - a part of who we are – what we are- and what we do- Today, Tomorrow, and FOREVER!” Ken Pinch, International Liaison TCF Canada.